Sand Through an Hourglass
by 20 Thousand Leagues
Summary: The beads of sand poured through the hourglass like Spartans through Thermopylae Pass, and Fai only wishes he was as sure as they.


A/N: I do think this is probably the prettiest thing I've ever written, in terms of language, so I hope you like it. I was thinking of maybe extending it to a two part piece, but we'll see. This is for the fall challenge at the KuroFai LJ comm.

The golden sand poured through the hourglass like vodka from a decanter, and Fai sat staring, entranced. The rain poured down outside his window, but he never spared so much as a glance at the tumultuous clouds reigning above him. _I've had enough of cloudy skies and gray rain._ Enough. He watched as the grains tumbled through their narrow pass, as minutes slid by and his heart sat stagnant in its pool of blood and betrayal and bottomless dark depths.

_I'm waiting for the sun to shine again._ It had rained consistently since the day they had left Celes, Fai knew, consciously keeping his gaze on the glimmering droplets that fell in a graceful line to the glassy bottom, and consciously off the man lying three feet away. This world called this weather "spring" and promised that after the rains let up, the sun would shine as brightly as a candle with its wick untrimmed. So they promised now, but this incessant pounding made Fai's head spin with memories- memories- memories- of a city in a rain as pounding as this, in a world full of acid and heartbreak and rain that never ceased but never healed.

This world was as full of magic as Jade had been of snow, and it burned his heart to feel it all around him, and see it glimmer off every surface and through everyones' eyes. He imagined that that glimmer must have been his too, before he was one eye down and paying through the soul for ever having become close to the broken girl who lay without memories or a soul, the boy who declared determination through any obstacle, no matter the degree of impossibility, and the man who never, never looked back. And here Fai sat, in a world of magic and pounding silver rain, with three people he never meant to meet and ended up destroying. Here Fai sat, with a princess, an archeologist's twin, and a ninja, all dying by his hand or his fault. Here he sat, an ocean streaking down half his face in a world bursting full of magic of the purest kind as he sat dying of and for his own magic; left and lost somewhere along this path he'd followed through the Emperor's will, Fei Wang Reed's will, Ashura's will... and somehow he felt now that he was orbiting Kurogane's will, hanging in the power of a man who would not let him go. Kurogane would not let him drown, and moments like now Fai wondered whether that was a blessing or a curse.

Fai sat, enchanted, as the golden strands sank themselves in an ocean of perfect symmetry, and he wondered when the sun was  
supposed to rise here in this world of clouds with inherently promised linings of silver that stretched over the horizon and across the infinite skies of this world. He sat, staring, and spun the hourglass again and again, each hour no more than a drop in Fai's ocean of liquified agony. Liqueur would help, but it seemed a custom this world carried on without, and there was nothing to drown his pain in but the mesmerizing drops of brilliant sand as time wound past him in never ending spirals, twirling away into the rain as Sakura might have, had she been a few years younger, awake, and innocent as she was. More than anything else yet lost, Fai mourned the loss of Sakura's hope as a girl so pure suffered so, and the world went round and around again with time spiraling it, playing with lives and hitsuzen like the wind sweeps through wind chimes without a glance back.

The sands poured through the hourglass like Fai's magic through his fingers, like Kurogane's or Sakura's blood fell in streams from his dyed crimson palms, like the unwarranted tears that spilled from beneath his eyelid. He twirled it once again, letting the silver base and pillars gleam in the light cast by illuminated grains, each one glowing with magic that so evaded Fai now, when before it had flowed plentifully as the fountain of youth. Youth fades, thought Fai, standing for the first time since he had seated himself at that table ages and ages and ages ago, moments lost. Fai stood, wavered, and stepped to the window. He threw the blinds open with animosity, looking for more rain to match his mood and daring this word for the ceaseless downpour to continue, and was left staring astonished and amazed.

Each cloud, previously mottled back and gray, glowed absolutely silver, the almost holy light radiating from behind them, setting them ablaze with a shining magnificence that burned the eyes. Fai could not turn away, just as mesmerized by these symbols of hope as he had been by his time running out on the morbid hourglass that had held him captive in the same cycles for days on end. He glanced to the far eastern horizon, breath caught, scarcely hoping for something more than what he had– and he was swept away by the royal purple rising over the horizon, and he knew the sun wouldn't be far behind.

So Fai leapt from the window to the street and soaked in the last of the rain that poured as a blessing from whatever God held such a world full of wonder in his hands. He threw a last look up towards the rain that had kept him melancholy company through three days of unendurable doubt, and then he turned to the sun. He threw his arms open, he took two steps forward and no steps back, and he smiled a real smile at the gold shimmer dusting the town with captivating beauty and promise.

And then he smiled, and Kurogane called from the window, tentatively strong, "Fai?"

Fai turned his back to the sunrise and threw his head back to look at Kurogane, poised leaning on the windowsill. The addictive gold light shone as brightly as the sands that cascaded through the hourglass, and his smile grew an inch.

"Yes, Kuro-puu?"


End file.
